Thursday, May 9, 2013

a touchy subject

Gifting. I know there is some kind of etiquette but I can't find the rule book. Apparently neither can a lot of people. Hubby and I were having a conversation tonight about it. We are not selfish people at all. I don't give a crap if people send us "gifts" but it pisses me off when people favor one of my kids over the others. All my kids are amazing. I have never EVER heard a negative remark about any of them. There is no reason for someone who is supposed to love them to treat them differently from one another. My mother-in-law has it down pat. She sends the same present for everyone. Every time. Very predictable. Very fair. She's awesome. However, not everyone is as awesome. So I figured I'd jot down a few guidelines for those who may need them.
-You are never required to send anything to my house. If you choose to send a gift to my children, you need to follow my rules.
-If you elect to send something to my house randomly, it's either to share or you need to send 3. They don't have to be the same thing, but if you send something for one, you need to send something for 3 or I will make them share it.
             -exceptions to this rule are hand me downs and special circumstances (For example, if Ally needs a                      
              scarf for school and I ask if you have an old one she can have, you don't need to send three). This
              should be common sense.
-We don't care about the value of anything you send to the kids. We appreciate that you have thought of them and the kids love getting stuff in the mail, no matter what it is, especially since many of our friends and family are so far away. Please don't see this post as us being ungrateful.
- However, if you are sending cash, for whatever reason, you should send equal amounts. They notice if you send more to one and I'm the one who needs to try to explain it or make up for it.
-If you come for a visit or we come to visit you, don't feel obligated to bring/buy presents.
- If you send a Christmas present, it needs to be shared or you need to send 3.
               -Exceptions to this rule are godparents and teachers or anyone with a valid reason to gift one child
                 and not the other two.
-If you are going to send a present for one of my kids' Birthday's, remember to send something for my other kids' Birthdays. They are big enough to notice. Same exceptions as before. Also, see Birthday parties.
Birthday Parties
-We try our best to host a fun party for all of our girls' Birthdays. We invite their current class and any of our friends we think would like to come. Consider yourself invited. We would never intentionally leave anyone out.
-Please don't feel obligated to come, even if you came to another one of my kids' parties.
-If you can't make it, don't feel like you need to "send a present" because you were invited.
-It's common courtesy to bring a present to a Birthday Party. Things happen. We're low on cash, don't get paid until next week, we forgot until the last minute. Whatever. I would never want a friend to miss out coming to a party because you can't buy a present. But also keep in mind that between the facility cost, goodie bag, cake, ice cream, etc. we typically spend about $20 per kid to party. I could combine this into one really great present for my kid, but they have more fun hanging with their friends. I don't care about $ amount. Bring the kid a present. Make one. Whatever. It's the thought that counts.

I know how shallow it sounds when you have to blog about how to gift. I'm typically a humble person. I've just had it lately with people favoring one of my children over the others. These same people have no problem telling me what and how to gift them or their children. Here's another tip. Don't tell me what to send you/your child for their Birthday unless I ask. That's rude. I'm the type of person who thinks long and hard trying to find the perfect gift for people. Lately, I haven't given a crap because you people have ruined it for me. I have always been a person who goes above and beyond to make sure no one ever feels left out. I expect you to extend the same courtesy to my kids. I would really just rather you not send anything to either of them than to skip one because their Birthday is at an inconvenient time for you or to watch you blatantly favor one of my girls over the other. I'm sure they all love you the same amount.
OK rant over. Commence judging me.

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